This follows on from the ideas about Apathy
The thing I’ve found is that when you’re in a state of deep, deep, chronic depression, you don’t even want to make decisions.
In fact, you just don’t want to do anything at all even if it’s in your own best interests. It’s almost a way of punishing yourself.
Even if you know it’s what you should do, you just can’t bring yourself to do it. You’re just so trapped in the horrible hypnotic reality of your life situation that you feel unable to do anything to drag yourself out of it. Trying to motivate yourself even to get out of bed in the morning saps all your energy for the day.
And because you’re not doing what you think you should do and what other people tell you that you should do, it gives you more and more reasons to hate yourself even more…and that just causes you to spiral into even deeper depression.
And the vicious cycle of self-hatred and depression goes on and on, getting deeper and darker until you really wonder why you should bother staying alive at all because you feel like there is no way out. You feel alone, desperate and ready to end it all.
I normally don’t relate exact methods/products - I usually stick to principles because I think everyone is in a different vibrational place and what might work for one might not work for another - but for this unique situation where you can’t even motivate yourself to get started, I’ll tell you the exact method I’ve used in the past to break out of the cycle permanently…and I still recommend it to people today.
Taking the first step, or even finding the energy to take the first step, is the hardest thing to do when you are stuck in the darkness.
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Get hold of a copy of The Self-Esteem Supercharger Paraliminal. I’ve liked Paraliminal recordings for years because they require zero mental or physical effort to be effective. I even tell people to ignore all the instructions within the recording itself to “do this” or “do that”. Just switch the recording on and forget about it…it still seems to work as long as you keep using it. So the key is to somehow get that recording played…
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Keep a media-playing device next to your bed ready to go with the recording as you go to sleep.
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In the few moments of will power you will have immediately after awakening the next morning (you have it even when in deep depression), force yourself to put on your headphones and hit play on the recording.
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Just lie in bed and let the recording wash over you - promise yourself you can do what you like after it’s over but just lie there and listen to it. You don’t even need to listen to the actual words of the recording at all while it is playing…in fact, it’s quite difficult to do so because of the way Paraliminals work. Ignore it completely if you want. Go back to sleep if you want, it doesn’t matter - things will still start to change. Just the fact that it is playing and some part of you can hear it will start to make a difference.
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Do this every morning and, within a few days of starting, you’ll start to find yourself with more and more inner energy.
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Keep going with the daily morning listening in bed even while you are implementing the processes. And as your self-love and self-esteem grow and grow, you’ll soon find yourself going through some form of anger either targeted at yourself, your situation or other people. Allow yourself to go with the angry feeling…it’s your key to permanently breaking free of the depression into self-empowerment.
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Once you’ve safely broken through the anger barrier and have stabilized at a higher emotional setpoint, there will come a time when you feel it’s safe to let go of the morning “self-esteem” boost. Feel free to let it go but if at any time you start to feel inner instability coming back, use that same trick of using the few moments of “awakening will power” to start playing that recording again.
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If you find other people don’t like the new self-loving, self-confident “You”, don’t worry about it - just let them be and keep going. It’s their problem, not yours. Many will try to tell you that you are being selfish and self-centered but the subtext of what they are really saying is that they would rather you followed their own selfish and self-centered whims than your own
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Make anger your friend. Never be afraid to become angry if it suits you. Anger is your natural self-defence mechanism that will keep you out of self-hatred and depression and, when you learn to channel the energy from it, it can transform your life.
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Again, like with the morning listenings, there will come a time when you will feel that you no longer need to resort to anger because you are way beyond it… Now you’re free, self-directed and self-loving and there is nothing anyone will ever be able to do to take those qualities away from you again